Choice of Freedom

Warning: Feminist ideologies are mentioned in this post. For those who develop rash and wheezing at the mention of any feminist piece of writing hover over to the top left corner of this window and click on the X button.

If you are still reading this post it will is either because you are curious about my illuminated feminism, or that you are perhaps one yourself. However, that is probably just wishful thinking. I am absolutely sure that you are either Tina, Dee, Mastermind, Naz or Linguist-in-Waiting who are doing your daily rounds of blog hopping.

I am not sure until today that the term 'feminist' has a negative overtone to it. I have been called one a couple of times and until today, the label has been, in my head only positive. For me, being a feminist is not being revolutionary or God forbid, man hating. I see it simply as a notion that women as a whole should thrive to improve their condition of living. I don't want to be oppressed just because I lack a certain male organ. Who would want to? Would you just accept having a significantly low salary from your male colleague with the exact same qualifications as you?

I absolutely HATE it, I HATE IT, when a man goes up to me to say "a woman's place is in the kitchen"! Why would a man say that? That fact is maybe true only fifty years ago, but nowadays why would a man even DARE to say that? Does he think that we are intellectually inferior? Does he not know at the very least the ratio of women to men in universities is 3:1? In fact, I don't even need to point out these statistics galore, just step a foot in UBD during lecture hours. Or grab a copy of last year's convocation booklet. See for yourself. Who gets the first class honours? Why?

I am not condoning the full-time housewives of Brunei and indeed a lot of my aunties are housewives too and they are amazing feminists in their own rights. They support women's liberation, but they just chose to stay at home. However, career choices are not what is central in my discussion. On the other hand, what I am saying is that, what matters most is it is fine to be a housewife just as long as that they still have a say in that choice. That they have financial freedom should anything we don't plan happens. That they are not forced or coerced into that role that all their other dreams are oppressed.

I am proud to say, that I am a third-wave feminist. I was born to this world to two wonderful people who instilled a consciousness that we are not inferior to men and what physical thing we lack, we make up for it through our intellectual capabilities. That we need not rely on them for every single thing on earth because we are also capable of everything they can do. Of course I'd still like men to do things for me because I am unbelievably lazy and a romantic at heart. I would still like to be given flowers and chocolates (or perhaps something more original like shoes) on anniversaries and I love it when men take me off my feet with sweet words and whisperings that they will take care of me until the day I die.

I also want to take care of my husband (ahem in the future I meant) and my children. I want to do laundry and clean my house and do the dis.. I mean, put the dishes in the dishwasher. They are as my lecturer had put it "annoyingly fulfilling". But I would also want to know that all those jobs, I won't be doing them alone as if I have super powers. I want my husband to actually help me load up the washing machine with dirty clothes and detergent while I hang them out to dry and slice up those onions into small dices while I peel the potatoes. What I don't want is me slaving away in the kitchen/laundry room whatever after a long day at work while he sits luxuriating in the air conditioned living room reading a newspaper.

I don't hate men. I love them (well, not all of them, I am quite selective in giving my affections thank you very much)! I just wish that they would break away from this stereotype that they were brought up in. I as an observer is quite sad that they don't realise that women are changing and perpetually succeeding here and there and they are not reacting to those changes. That they are still stuck in the old roles and consciousness their fathers had in the fifties. This cause them to inevitably fall behind. But of course, that is another argument, another subject, on another day.

I apologise that this has become a rant instead of a healthy debate. I am opinionated but this partriarchal society has no room for my 'feminist' opinions and this is my outlet. In the mean time, I call upon all women out there. We are not inferior, and we should be open to choices. We have a right to say no and we have a right to say yes.